One of my most popular blogs was the blog titled ‘Losing self’, which explains my struggles when becoming a mum. Many people have contacted me and stated that they have experienced the same. 

It is still a struggle but something I am moving forward with. 

When I was asked to do a talk at the Story house straight away I thought I would talk about my current situation…Finding the new me. 

As a mum of 3 children, 1 being a daughter of 12 years old. I find myself torn between wanting to be responsible, yet at the same time wanting to be reckless. The whole school situation I find quite boring, even writing this I fear judgement, but the playground chatting and staying at home with the children instead of working has never been for me, but it has taken me years to feel in a place where I can admit it. 

I would say the first few years of my daughter starting school I was consumed with what other mums would think of me, especially with me working and doing my counselling degree at the same time. I would feel the good old “mum guilt” because I couldn’t stay and chat outside the school gate as I usually had to rush off somewhere. All the other mums had time to go into the school and read with the others where as I could hardly find the time to read with my own children!

I have been on a long journey as a mum and I am sure this will never end, I feel I am entering into a complete new territory as my daughter is entering the teenage years. I want her to see me as a positive role model but 90 per cent of the time I don’t think she sees me as such and asks me daily why I can’t just be “normal” which I would love to know what “normal” looks like. 

As I always say being a mum is hard, every stage having its own difficulties, and it’s hard to sometimes admit we are struggling. I hope within the culture of Motherwell Cheshire we support mums to be open and honest.

For me at the moment I am working towards the new me to have everything in equal measures. 

I want to work hard and play hard and I want to feel guilty about non of it! 

Who is joining me?!!