I remember so vividly the warm feeling of being so wanted, needed… not having a minute to myself, desperate to have an odd day/hour/minute to myself… but knowing that you were the person your family came to for every crisis no matter how big or small!! It gave me great purpose in life. I’ve always worked, but nothing gave me the great sense of fulfilment that being a mum did….
Fast forward 10ish years and how different my life is…. Those days/hours/minutes I craved for are now my nightmare. How I often hate weekends. They stretch ahead with no purpose. No one to share a giggle, a pointless conversation. I sometimes think the shop assistants i engage in conversation must think i’m some sad, lonely old woman. I crave human interaction that’s why i chat to them. My week days I try to fill to capacity so I don’t have to come home to an empty house…and often result in me being exhausted! But i don’t mind, better than facing my loneliness. Work gives me back my purpose. Don’t know what i’d do without it. I have friends who are looking forward to retirement…. NOT ME!!
My children are adults and have their own lives. I am so proud of them. They have grown into beautiful, independent people. They do occasionally need me… Maybe grandchildren will bring back some purpose?
Looking back… I don’t think I enjoyed my time as a young mum as much as I should. Oh what I’d give for those times….Yes it’s hard work, tiring and very frustrating but I wouldn’t have missed it for the world!!